Big dreams? A single mom’s future goals

To be honest, most days my goals are simply to stay awake, make sure nobody hurts anything, and everyone gets fed. But in the few spare moments I have, I ponder my future. Everyone should, by the way. “What do you want to be when you grow up?” isn’t just a question for 5 year olds. Ask yourself the same thing.

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Technically, I’m already grown up. At least, they gave me a driver’s license and let me take home 6 babies from the hospital. I assume that means I’m considered an adult, right? I don’t feel grown up. I feel like I’m still some scared kid, pretending to know something in order to prove to the world that I can do what I’m doing.

Ok, so I do know a few things. I know that you shouldn’t touch hot pans straight out of the oven (I had the blister to prove it.) I know that marrying the wrong guy leads to a whole world of pain. And I know that newborn baby smell is the most addictive smell in the world.

When I was 16, someone asked me what I wanted to be when I was a grown up. Aside from vague intentions of joining the Foreign Affairs department — I always fancied being a diplomat — I knew I wanted a family. As far as that childhood dream goes, I have already achieved it. And.. I’m a diplomat too. Negotiating treaties in the Middle East has got nothing on talking down a three year old who had locked themselves in their room.

Childhood dreams grow up too.

Life has a way of changing things. You discover who you really are as you live. Those values that are most important to you are the ones that stick around. Things like respect for everyone no matter what, and that you should never stop learning are some of my top values.

I used to think that I was shy. Then I realized that I just didn’t like the attention of the masses. I didn’t want a spotlight. I do want those who care for me to pay attention to me. But everyone else can move along.

Now I run a blog and a business. I’m openly trying to attract the attention of the masses! Ironic.

My dreams and plans are big. 

I have new dreams now, than my childhood fancies. Part of me dreams of being able to help other women. I want to provide safe places for moms fleeing violence, for refugees seeking a new life, for grieving families, for those just starting out and needing a home base. I want to give them a firm foundation, to help them hide first, then launch again.

I want to buy homes, and transform them into these safe havens. In doing so, I hope to leave my own family a legacy. I want to work with friends and my network to provide a soft landing, and then the ladder they need to get established on their own. I’ve learned from experience that in order to grow, first you need stability and then you need support.

I want to connect people and places to each other. Help those that need help to the right supports that can help them. I want to build bridges and dig tunnels, create roads and trails and paths so that, in my own small way, part of this broken world is a little bit easier.

I’m not sure how it will all work.

I just know I have a dream, and I’m working towards it. First, I need to make sure that my own family is provided for, both now and in their future.  They are my priority, and launching them into their own futures is one of my biggest goals. I can only imagine what’s in store for them.

(I just hope grandchildren are part of their future!)

Sometimes I think my dreams are too big. It’s easy to get overwhelmed with big dreams. The bigger the dream, the harder it is to start.

Where do you start with a big dream?

I think you start by reverse engineering your big dreams. What does it look like when you’ve achieved your dream and you’re looking back from the end of your life? For me, it looks like a corporation of some kind, part social worker, part therapy, part small-business start up incubator, part property management.

How do I get there? Obviously buying real estate would be part of the deal, so maybe that’s where I start? Maybe I’ll get a license in selling real estate, or learn how to be a mortgage broker.

I should date a contractor.

It’s a Step by Step Process.

Dreams are best achieved by taking one step at a time. Sometimes you just put your head down and keep working hard. Sometimes you need to take a moment, look around, and make sure you’re still on the right road to your dream.

I’m on the right road. I am developing a business that is not only providing me with the income I need for my family now, but will give me the cashflow to learn the skills I want. Eventually, I will be able to buy my first home — my own.

What’s stopping me from getting there?

A lot of things are really big obstacles. Mostly it’s time. I don’t have enough time, it seems, day-to-day, to work on the big-picture stuff. And I feel like I’m running out of time long-term to actually accomplish everything. But I think that’s mostly an illusion. There’s always a way.

I may not have it all figured out yet.

But I’ll get there. I’m still getting started. I have big dreams, and it’s overwhelming. But it’s also exciting, and that’s part of what makes it fun. After all, passion is what turns work into play.

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